In re-reading this before I hit "publish", I realize that this post perfectly echoes a conversation Tim and I just had this evening. (My evening, his morning!) That it is so easy to be reflecting on the past, and planning for the future, that the present slips by in a flash. I recognize that we are both being challenged -- while looking forward to visits and my eventual homecoming -- to live in the present, and enjoy each day, if not each hour, for what it has to offer.
::::::::::::::
As you know from reading my posts over these past couple of months, it has been a bit of a roller coaster as far as the emotional adjustment of being so far away from home.
Getting to Washington D.C. for a visit and having the opportunity to spend a little time with Tim helped immensely. Was a bit like getting a fix, spending time with the person I am closest to in the world.
The other night, when my brother and I were at a play, he ran into some colleagues. ("The Woman in Black" -- excellent production.) Part of my brother's conversation was about the unique experience of helping develop systems and infrastructures in this country, whether hospitals or education or elsewhere. To make a positive impact, help a country work toward a future where they don't need all of us Expats. "Where else would you get this opportunity?" my brother said.
Where else indeed? Am sure there are some other places, but not to the extent and enthusiasm with which the UAE is moving forward. There are books and websites that show the UAE just 40-50 years ago ... the differences are staggering.
I needed to hear that conversation. Between longing for home and having just had a week where I wondered if you can indeed manage the sometimes overwhelming workload, I needed the reminder of why I said yes to this job and took this leap ... to be challenged and to make a difference. Certainly am being challenged in many ways.
My blog post title here mentions gradual shifts and adjustments. I knew there was a good shift when I had to determine who was going to be manager of Al Rowdah while I was home in California, as both my Associate Director and I were scheduled to be out on vacation. (Or "leave" as it is called here.) And I found myself caring a lot about who would take care of Al Rowdah while I'm gone. Any one of the Al Rowdah management team would do an excellent job; they are absolutely great and I've known that since my first day.
While I am sure it will be hard to leave home and Tim and the pups at the end of my two weeks in December, I find myself actually looking forward ... to finishing Al Rowdah's initial accreditation report as the Institute of Applied Technology seeks American accreditation for its higher education academies (the IAT high schools are already accredited), and to other significant projects. A month ago I wasn't sure I could make it the whole of 2013, and now I feel that I can.
Helps that Tim will visit Abu Dhabi in February, and meet me in March for the NASPA national conference, and we are planning trips/visits for after that. I don't have the same level of doubt or hesitation I did even a week or two ago.
Now, part of me almost feels like I'm cheating by feeling this way ... as if by feeling comfortable here and feeling like I can dig into the job with more emotional commitment, I am cheating on people at home to some degree. Probably sounds weird. But I recognize that it's not good, or constructive, for me to focus on what I miss, and that I need to live in the moment and embrace the experience to which I said yes, and to where God so distinctly led me.
No comments:
Post a Comment